Hello there!

It's been a hot minute! I have so much to catch you guys up on. I nearly forgot that I even owned a blog! Well, that's what happens when life happens! Anyway, the last time I wrote here, my little one was too little and now, he's nearly 4! Geez, where did the time go! This is his last year before he officially begins school next year. We wanted to take complete advantage of that and decide to hop on a spontaneous trip to New Zealand. We have traveled with our boy before, but this time it was a lot more relaxed that it has been otherwise. And I really just want to give you guys this super quick update! So let's get started?

It was a couple of weeks before the Easter holidays kicked in and staying home for 4 consecutive days with my over-energetic toddler was not an option. I looked up flights and they were about $800 per person, which was still reasonable considering the holidays. We booked it straight away and decided to fly into Queenstown from Sydney. Our goal was to explore South Island and we literally landed there with no itinerary, only a rental car and accommodation booked. We landed on a Monday night and rushed to the bnb as it was pouring cats and dogs. It took us forever to find our rental car, but luckily we made it.

Day 1 - Exploring Queenstown and Arrowtown

The following morning, we woke up at our own pace and planned to have a chill day. Some of our friends happened to be there as well. We grabbed some coffee and decided to head to Queenstown Gondola which took us all the way to the top to savor in some breathtaking views of the city. The boys also participated in the Luge rides and my son had the best time. 

We grabbed some pizza and wine in this cute little town called Arrowtown and just walked around a river, wandered into cute little stores and cozy bookshops. 

Day 2 - A day trip to Milford Sound

Our Day 2 was dedicated to driving to and from Milford Sound. It basically has a cruise that goes through mountains and waterfalls. The cruise tickets were about 130 NZD. The drive each way took us nearly 5 hours and this is something I really do not recommend with small kids. The drive was also windy and my son did not have a great time as he got sick three times! We even missed our cruise and luckily, were allowed to take the next one. The cruise is really nice, but definitely not worth all the trouble as kids don't really enjoy it. We ended up spending the whole day on the road for a 1 hour cruise!

Day 3 - Road trip to Lake Tekapo

Our next destination was Lake Tekapo which is about 2-2.5 hours away from Queenstown by road. This time we were better prepared for the motion sickness. We stopped at many different view points and in multiple small villages on our way there. We went to Twizel for lunch and it seemed like a really cute town with a nice playground that my son really enjoyed at. Our bnb was at a super quiet town called Kimbell where we had sheep for neighbors! A few kms away from Kimbell was Lake Tekapo (about 30 min drive) and on the other side was another little village called Fairlie. 

Day 4 - Exploring Lake Tekapo, Mount Cook and Tekapo Springs

We spent the morning at Tekapo Springs, which is basically a heated pool and not a great idea if your toddler gets exhausted with the heat. The club also had a mini golf area. In the afternoon, we drove to Mount Cook which is an hour away from Lake Tekapo. Mount Cook was surreal and probably the most beautiful part of my trip! The snow-capped mountains completely took my breath away. There was a tiny playground there as well that kept my bub excited. We returned to Lake Tekapo to grab some dinner and Neel spotted another playground that he got a chance to spend some time at!

We started our journey towards Christchurch. On the way there, we stopped at Fairlie to grab breakfast and found another cute playground for bubba to burn his energy before the long drive. The wonderful thing about New Zealand is that it is so child-friendly that it's not uncommon to find playgrounds every few meters! We reached Christchurch after a few stops on the way and had booked a hotel that upgraded us to a 2 bedroom suite! The hotel looked magnificent! We spent the rest of the day at a really popular playground called Margaret Mahy Playground, walked around this street full of hippie cafes and rode the tourist tram that showed us a few spots around the city.

Day 6 - A trip to The New Brighton Pier and a stroll at Cashmere

We had a few hours before we had to board our flight back to Sydney. We started the day by going back to Margaret Mahy Playground since Neel wanted to spend some more time there. We then drove to The New Brighton Pier which had a pier and a beach and of course, a massive playground! Needless to say, bubba was super satisfied! We ended our trip by checking out the beautiful view at this small suburb called Cashmere.

We had a pleasant trip and it wasn't as exhausting as expected. Every drive was so scenic and was like driving into postcards. The fresh air and the stunning views really elevated our moods. I usually tend to pack a ton of things for Neel when we travel and I'm always obsessing over what he should eat. All over South Island, there were plenty of options for him to eat at all the cafes and restaurants. The fact that there were so many playgrounds wherever we went was a big bonus! The drives were also smooth as bubba realized that he needs to nap in the car to not feel nauseous. It was a good break from the routine and we definitely wished we could have spent more time there. However, it's quite an expensive country and certainly not someplace you could go without having a big budget.

Hope you liked this post!

Until next time...

Love,

Hand On The Hip

Hello everyone!

Today's post is a highly, HIGHLY requested one by a lot of fellow mums who follow me on Instagram. I have been asked time and again how I got Neel to eat on his own, whether I started with purees or whether we went ahead with baby-led weaning and so on. In today's post, I'm going to be sharing our journey so far, how we got to where we are today, some tips and tricks that has worked for us and when to just let go! Before we get started, I'd like you guys to take a look at my blog post on how we started solids just to get you a brief idea. Get yourself a cuppa or something, because this one's going to be a long post! Also, do make sure you follow me on Instagram (@handonthehip) and check out my highlights "Neel's Meals" where I share daily updates on what my boy eats. Before you proceed, I also want to let you all know that I am no expert, I do not have a medical degree and I am only sharing my story with you all.

As you all know, Neel had reflux in the initial months and hence, we were asked to start solids at 4 months. Each day I'd make a simple bowl of vegetable or fruit puree for my little boy who always devoured anything that was offered to him. In no time, we moved on to rice, cereal, lentils, khichdi and what not. Back then I had no idea that babies as young as six months or even younger could feed themselves! I was intrigued by the concept but wasn't brave enough to try something on my own because I was afraid of choking hazards and wasn't too keen on the mess that would follow. I was quite comfortable feeding him purees or mashed food and had no idea how it would make my son dependent. Neel would eat pretty much everything that was spoon-fed to him at that age! I did try offering him some eggs and steamed carrot sticks when he was about 4-5 months old and the poor little baby struggled to even bring it to his mouth. Clearly he wasn't ready! However, I did invest in a fruit feeder in the early days and when Neel was about 6 months old, he would eat all kinds of fruits on his own in his feeder. I also would give him some of those store bought baby snacks (puffs) and he instantly put it in his mouth. He once also ate some idli all by himself at Saravana Bhavan. I should have taken the hint and given him more finger foods, but it still didn't strike me. When he was about 7 months old, I gave him a strawberry just to see where we stand and he loved the experience of eating it on his own! I was ecstatic but didn't have any information to proceed and was under the impression that it's not allowed or encouraged.

We were doing extremely well with purees and when Neel was about 8 months old, I happened to go out to hang out with the other mums and bubs from the mother's group. I noticed that a boy of Neel's age was eating a peanut butter sandwich all by himself! All the other mums were even talking about how their bubs were big on finger foods and were refusing purees. That's when I felt like I didn't get the memo. I felt a tiny bit of mom guilt that day. Did I not provide my child with enough opportunities to acquire this skill? Or is he just not ready yet? I immediately rushed home and started doing my research while Neel went down for his nap. I made a chikpea and potato patty and offered it to Neel for his afternoon snack. He munched on it like a pro! It blew my mind to see how he was tearing pieces of the patty with his hands and putting it in his mouth! That gave me a ton of confidence and within a week, Neel had eaten all kinds of pancakes, patties, fruits, berries, dosa, cheese and what not and ALL BY HIMSELF (Video: Neel's First Week of Finger Foods)! And that's when we transitioned from spoon-feeding to baby-led weaning!

What exactly is baby-led weaning? How does it benefit my baby?

Can I do both spoon-feeding and baby-led weaning?

Of course! That's exactly what we did when we first started! While he was focusing on feeding himself in the initial days, I still topped him up with purees if I felt that he was still hungry. Some of his meals were purees too. 

What are the tools I need to get started? 

You'll need a high chair, a bib, some easy finger foods that are age appropriate, weaning spoons and bowls and a hungry bubba! Although I did invest (still do) in a lot of toddler cutlery, my son always insists on eating using adult spoons, forks and bows!

What is the right age to start?

That totally depends on you and your bub! My bub seemed ready at 8 months and I was ready to experiment too. They say that 6-12 months is the best time to establish good habits and I couldn't agree more. If you think your baby isn't ready, try again after a few days. And remember, it's never too late to start either!

Don't babies need teeth to eat finger foods?

Nope, just strong gums! :)

Is it easy to transition from spoon-feeding to self-feeding?

Nothing is ever easy with babies! That doesn't mean you don't try! If your baby is grabbing food from your plate, then your baby is definitely ready to feed himself. When my son showed even an inkling of interest, I took that as a sign and got busy in the kitchen... haven't stopped since! :D

How do I know if my baby is full?

Babies know how much they want to eat. Some babies may be done with 2 bites, some may eat more. My son looks away when he's full or not interested in that particular food. If you think your child is still hungry, offer him something else to see if he accepts it or top him up with some puree. 

How much food should I offer?

Every time I would ask my pediatrician this question, his answer would be the same, which was, "As much as he wants", but how was I supposed to know? In the initial days, my son never really knew when to stop! So to start with, I would always offer about 3-4 tbsp worth of finger foods or rice or purees and if he needed more, I'd offer him some fruits or more of the food that was made. 

What does it mean if my baby is throwing his food?

It means that he has just discovered gravity! It's a phase and it shall pass! What I'd do is put that food back in his plate. Eventually, he understood that food is for eating and not to throw around.

What do I do if my child isn't sitting on his high chair?

When Neel was 11-12 months old, we went through a "high chair" rejection phase. Since he was trying to perfect his walking, he didn't want to be bound to one place. He would try to escape from the high chair immediately after he was placed in it. To overcome this and to not waste my time chasing him around the house with food, I set up a grazing station an placed pieces of his dosa or bread in a bowl. Every time he'd get hungry, he'd pick up a few pieces and eat it while he was playing. Now, please note that this could be a choking hazard and you may need to use your best judgement to decide how safe or unsafe it is. I also let him sit on the floor or on his seat/couch and eat some of his snacks. I am very flexible with where he eats as long as he's eating!

How do I increase my child's appetite?

How do I know what my child likes and dislikes?

It takes a lot of trial and error to get to a stage where you know for sure what your baby's safe food is. Safe food is that food item that your child will always open his mouth for. For example, my son can literally survive of blueberries and cow's milk if he had a choice. It's good to also note down what texture, color, taste your baby is inclining towards. For instance, Neel went through a phase where he liked patties and soon moved over to tiny pieces of food that he can pick up with his tiny fingers and eat. It's all about knowing what your child likes and building on it. Regarding dislikes, it's always a roller coaster ride! Today my child may enjoy a bowl of rice and a few days later, he may turn his face away for the same food. When he shows some disinterest in a particular type of food, I would offer it a few weeks later to see how he might react to it.

Do I need to have back-up food in case bub rejects the food that's been offered?

A lot of weaning experts suggest that you don't offer anything else, but as a mum it's instinctive to want to make sure your child has eaten well. In situations like this, I do offer him something else or some fruits or cheese or a corn cob that I know for sure he will eat. I don't believe in letting my child go to bed hungry since his next meal might be 13-14 hours later.

How do I know my child is getting enough nutrition and what should I avoid?

How do I transition my baby to cow's milk?

Cow's milk should not be offered to babies under 12 months. It's also not mandatory for bubs to have cow's milk and dairy can be consumed in other forms like yoghurt, cheese etc. When Neel was 12 months old, I started offering him about 50-100 ml of cow's milk in his sippy cup diluted with 100 ml of water. Initially he developed diarrhea and once he got better, I would boil the milk and offer. Within a few weeks, his body got used to it and I started offering more and more milk. Now I offer about 300-350 ml of cow's milk per day since he also has other forms of dairy through the day.

How do I deal with stress when the baby isn't eating?

Initially, I would get really angry with my baby when he'd refuse food. I mean, come on, I only spent 397584 hours making that food! I would ask my husband to take over and get him to eat the food I had prepared with so much effort and love. Over time, I have realized that some days may be great, some not so much. I understood my son's preferences better and started working towards preparing meals that he might like. If things don't go as planned, I just offer him something else (which is usually fruits or bread) and plan better for the next day. 

How do I get my bub to eat with a spoon or fork?

I was always concerned about this one because I didn't know how to make my bub eat rice or anything that needs to be eaten with a spoon. But at around 13-14 months, Neel started grabbing the spoon from my hand and trying to feed himself. Sometimes I go in with another spoon and feed him too, but over time, he started getting better. I would give him easy, runny food items to practice his spoon skills like yoghurt, porridge etc. Similarly, I would offer a fork when he'd eat penne or mac pasta or even chunks of veggies and he figured it out.

What are some of the reasons babies reject food?

Hello lovelies!

Since I got A LOT of questions on this topic on my Instagram when I posted all about my breastfeeding journey, I wanted to do a detailed post on how I weaned my baby so effortlessly. I am really glad that some of you are finding my posts useful and well, that's the whole point of me taking the time out to document my experience. I couldn't come up with a better title for the post, so please bear with me but just to make this fun, I have added images from his monthly photoshoots. As always, I'd like to put it out there everybody has a different experience and every baby is different, so please don't hold me accountable if this doesn't work but I sincerely hope everything I share here is helpful!

Personally, to me, weaning off has always been something I've wanted to do gradually, but I've also wanted to do it by the time my child was 12 months or so. I had already seen/heard of a lot of mums who have really struggled with this, who end up feeding their bubs for 3-4 years and not because they want to and I didn't want to/could not afford to be in that position. I was really lucky that I had all the information I needed, the right kind of authorities who could guide me and no interference from anybody whatsoever. There's a lot of scientifically proven information on breastfeeding out there that we just aren't aware of. For instance, when I found out that babies can be night weaned as early as 4 months if they're feeding well through the day, just blew my mind! On that note, night weaning or even weaning off in general or reducing a feed can be super confusing! We often wonder if our bubs have had enough to eat or not, whether it's okay to let them sleep 12+ hours without eating or not and so on. So I spoke to my pediatrician, GPs, lactation and sleep consultants, nutritionists and what not and have noticed that these are the questions I need to be asking myself -

1) Is my child gaining enough weight? Since Neel was always off the charts with his height and weight, this was no brainer for me! Also, sharing his weight and height chart of his first year below just so you guys have an idea!

2) Is he feeding well during daytime? Neel has always been big on feeds or solids and will make sure he's full or will definitely make sure the entire building knows when he's not!

3) Is he peeing enough? A decent number of wet nappies (at least 5-6 for newborns) is an indication that your child is eating enough. If not, they might be dehydrated and might need more feeds.

4) Is my bub actually drinking and not dozing off? I was told by a lactation consultant at the hospital to notice if Neel is chuckling the milk and to check whether he's just sucking, I was asked to lift his hand. If the hand was all floppy and he was drowsy, then I would wake him up straight away to get him back on track with the feeding, make sure that he's had a full feed and then unlatch him.

5) Is he getting enough milk? Babies unlatch when they're full, but mine never did and he could go on for hours! I made it a point to give 15 ish mins from each boob and unlatch him myself when I felt that my boob was a lot lighter.

6) Is he active? Babies are generally very active and if your baby tends to be lethargic or not very responsive, then it's time to intervene and check what's happening. Neel has always been super active and hit all of his physical milestones on/before time which meant he was getting enough nutrition.

Birth to 6 weeks

Let me go back in time to April 2020 when my little one was born. I already told you guys how hard it was for me in the first week to get my milk come in and how I was basically pumping and feeding pretty much the entire week! In the meantime, my bubba survived on colostrum and 30 ml formula after each feed. My little boy was about 3.4 kilos at birth and when we left the hospital, he had come down to 3.2 kilos, which is hardly 5% and that gave a good indication to my pediatrician on how well my little one was doing. So he suggested that we feed him every 2 hours during the day, do the night feeds on demand and now that I was producing enough milk, there was no need to top him up with formula. That was also, more or less, the only time Neel was bottle-fed and since I was home on mat leave/locked down/WFH anyway, it was very convenient to just breastfeed him. The initial few weeks, as expected, were quite chaotic and I ended up feeding my baby a lot more than necessary. There were days when he'd feed every 30 min and I was a huge mess! Because he was so well fed during the day, he never got hungry at night and would sleep 4 to 8 hour stretches as a newborn! Unfortunately, due to the excess feeds he got during the day, he also developed reflux and had to go on Omeprazole.  

6 weeks to 4 months

After a while, mommy couldn't take it anymore and we just had to figure a way out of this cluster feeding madness! "Feed-on-demand" was definitely not an option for me or for the baby. We decided to go to a Mothercraft nurse when Neel was about 6 weeks old who suggested we space out the feeds by 2-3 hours and gave us, basically, a schedule to follow. We sort of combined it with what we were already doing and it was magic! By the time he was 2-3 months old, he would wake up once in a 12 hour stretch for a feed. He could easily go from 7-7:30 pm to 4 am or so without a feed and that was such a blessing for us! We literally never woke him up for feeds except the first week because he had gotten used to that schedule or probably already had implemented it himself. I started following the "Feed-Play-Sleep" cycle where I'd feed him when he woke up (about 10 min on each side with a nappy change in between), play for the rest of the duration of his wake window (wake windows are the time between 2 sleeps a baby can stay awake) and put him to sleep once the wake window has passed. When he wakes up from his nap again, I would repeat the cycle. Before bedtime, the routine is slightly different, wherein I would feed, massage, bathe, feed again and put him to sleep. Also, as he got older, I would do his last feed in the living room with plenty of light coming in so that he doesn't develop a "feed-to-sleep" association.

Schedule

7 am Breastfeed

9:30 am Breastfeed

12:00 pm Breastfeed

2:30 pm Breastfeed

5:00 pm Breastfeed

7:30 pm Breastfeed

4:00 am Breastfeed

4 months

When bub turned 4 months, we were asked by our pediatrician to wean him off the meds by starting solids. During the first week, I introduced lunch in place of his regular feed and topped him up with the same amount of breastmilk he would have had otherwise. During the second week, he was on two meals and by the third week, he was on three solid meals. After each meal I'd top him up with breastmilk so that he was getting all the nutrients as well as digesting the solids well. In addition to these three feeds, he was also having breastmilk three more times. We continued this pattern for a month or so and it worked out extremely well for us.

Schedule

7 am Breastfeed

9:30 am Breakfast + Breastfeed

12 pm Lunch + Breastfeed

3 pm Breastfeed

5 pm Dinner + Breastfeed

7 pm Breastfeed

4:00 am Breastfeed

5 months to 9 months

At around 5.5 months, we got a sleep consultant on board since he would spend all his naps sleeping on me and the nights had gotten rough too as we were slapped in the face by the infamous 4th month regression. (I will talk all about regressions and baby sleep in another VERY LONG sleep related post!) So she altered our schedule a bit to make room for sleep and we followed it till bub was about 9 months old. And since my boy was old enough to drink water to digest solids, I didn't need to top him up with feeds anymore. Also, something that my pediatrician always encouraged me to do is get my boy excited about solids and offer "as much as he wants" because after 6 months, breastmilk does not contain all the nutrients a baby needs.

Schedule

6 am Breastfeed

8 am Breakfast

10 am Breastfeed

11:00 am Lunch

2:30 pm Breastfeed

3:30 pm Snack

5:00 pm Dinner

6:30 pm Breastfeed

4:00 am Breastfeed

9 months to 11 months

When bub was 9 months old, I also introduced him to finger foods and enabled him to start self-feeding. So he was not only fully established on solids, he was also feeding himself a whole bunch of things! At around the same time, we also fully night weaned him. Since he was on just one night feed, it wasn't all that challenging! I just kept reducing the duration of his night feed until it was down to a minute or so and for a couple of days, my partner would settle him if he woke up in the middle of the night. Just so my anxiety wouldn't give in, I spent a few nights sleeping in another room and pretty soon both of us got used to not feeding at 4 am!

Schedule

6 am Breastfeed

8 am Breakfast

11:00 am Lunch

2:30 pm Breastfeed

3:30 pm Snack

5:00 pm Dinner

6:30 pm Breastfeed

11 to 12 months

My little one started daycare at around 10-11 months and initially, I had planned to go to the center to feed him at 2:30 pm because, well, lets be honest, I would get an opportunity to see him! But that would get in the way of him settling there, so I had to drop that feed. My next goal was to introduce him to cow's milk after he turned one so that he could slowly move on to cow's milk.

Schedule

6 am Breastfeed

8 am Breakfast

9:30 am Morning Tea

11:00 am Lunch

2:30 pm Afternoon Tea

5:00 pm Dinner

6:30 pm Breastfeed

12 months to 15 months

When Neel turned one, we made our first attempt to fully wean him off by letting daddy settle him for the night. There were a few tears and I personally wasn't ready either, so we decided to put it off for a while until both me and bubba were a hundred percent ready! I also wanted Neel to switch over to cow's milk. After multiple attempts of getting my bubba to drink and digest it, I was finally successful one day, when he was about 12-13 months old! This made me more confident about weaning him off because I knew that he was/is getting milk in some form which he seemed to love instantly! However, I still wanted to continue with that one feed at the end of the day because I was due to get my Covid vaccine soon and wanted to pass on the antibodies to Neel. But our GP advised that if I have plans of weaning off, I should not count on the vaccine because the antibodies last as long as I would be feeding him, which meant no end to the feeding and I'd heard it gets harder to wean them off as they get older.

Schedule

6 am Cow's Milk

8 am Breakfast

9:30 am Morning Tea

11:00 am Lunch

2:30 pm Afternoon Tea + Cow's Milk

5:00 pm Dinner

5:30 pm Cow's Milk

6:30 pm Breastfeed

15 months onwards

Finally, at around 15 months, I stopped that last bedtime feed as it was about time! Neel was not really interested in breastfeeding but just wanted it to fall asleep/get drowsy, which I soon realized that it was actually skin-to-skin that soothed him and not so much the feed. So I'd just place his palm on my belly or hip and that would do the trick. We followed the same routine we would the day I weaned him off, which is basically bath, moisturizer, PJs, sleeping bag, cuddle with daddy, turn white noise on, feed, hold mommy's belly/hip and pat to sleep. Only this time, we did not do a feed and it made no difference to him at all! At this point (17 months) I don't think he even remembers anything about breastfeeding! :D

Schedule

6 am Cow's Milk

7 am - 8 am Breakfast

9:30 am Morning Tea + Cow's Milk

11:00 am Lunch

2:30 pm Afternoon Tea + Cow's Milk

5:00 pm Dinner

5:30 pm Cow's Milk

So, in conclusion, here's what you'll need for a happy and pleasant wean off -

And that, my dear friends, is how I weaned off my little one. Since my approach was gradual and I did my research well in advance or before it was too late, I had no trouble with the process or even had any engorgement every time I dropped a feed. I stuck to a feeding schedule almost right from the beginning and that helped heaps! That being said, I did bend the rules when my baby went through sleep regressions, developmental leaps, teething and sickness. I did give him extra feeds and cuddles when we flew to Melbourne or visited new places. I did feed him to sleep a few times here and there when we were at a friend's place and there was no other way to make him go down for his naps. I did take out the boob on those nights when my partner and I were both too tired to figure out any other way to put him to sleep. I still do miss the closeness and still wish I could feed him, but it was just coming in the way of me moving forward. My baby did not really need it anymore and could be comforted by just being held, so I figured it was time to let go.